SATIRE
This is a post received from a #SURGEON:
WITH NO MALICE TO ANYONE 
BEST QUOTES IN SURGERY
It is better to open and see than to wait and see.
Sidney Cuthbert Wallace (1907)
The flat abdomen is a good abdomen.
G A Decker
Abdominal wall closure: if it looks all right, it’s too tight – if it looks too loose, it’s alright.
Matt Oliver
Better to have a piece of peritoneum on the bowel than a piece of bowel on the peritoneum.
Two things surgeons fear the most are God and peritonitis.
Henri Mondor (1885 - 1962)
Never let the skin stand between you and the diagnosis
Who learns anatomy from books, should one operate on books only?
The advent of anaesthesia has made it so that any idiot can become a surgeon.
William Stewart Halsted
(1852 – 1922)
There is an inverse relationship between the surgeon’s ability and the frequency he asks for more muscle relaxants.
Blood brain barrier: the screen between the surgeon and the anaesthetist.
Surgery is not an art, it is a personality disorder.
Have plenty of assistance but not many assistants.
Augustus C. Bernays
(1854 - 1907)
A good chief has always been a good assistant.
Charles F. M. Saint
(1886 - 1973)
A surgeon operates as good as his assistant permits.
The surgical resident is like a mushroom: kept in the dark, fed shit and expected to grow.
Poor surgeons can improve but poor assistants never become good surgeons.
Moshe Schein
All bleeding eventually ceases - when the patient is dead.
Guy de Chauliac
(1300 - 1368)
The only weapon with which the unconscious patient can immediately retaliate upon the incompetent surgeon is haemorrhage.
William Stewart Halsted
There are four degrees of intra-operative haemorrhage:
1. Why did I get involved in this operation?
2. Why did I become a surgeon
3. Why did I become a doctor?
4. Why was I born?.
Alexander Artemiev
Blood bank is the surgeon’s gas station.
The most important clotting factor is the surgeon.
Moshe Schein
In men nine out of ten abdominal tumours are malignant, in women nine out of ten abdominal tumours are the pregnant uterus.
Rutherford Morris
(1853 - 1939)
Courtesy
Javier Lardizábal
Mexico City, Mexico